So after watching and crying over Highway for the millionth time, I started to wonder how it would be if I was in that situation. I would be a treat to kidnap. Mostly because I would be sleeping all the time and being generally zombie-like due to the lack of internet.
Here are all the ways Highway would have been drastically different if I was the one kidnapped.
(This is only in context of the movie’s plot)
1) First off, I would NEVER willingly give up sleeping in the favour of ANYTHING. But since it’s necessary for the plot, I would go out for a drive with my annoying fiance and then get out in the middle of the road and get kidnapped.
2) So if I was kidnapped, then I would probably be a pretty ideal kidnappee (is that a word?). I would sleep all the time and would not complain if they give me soggy fries (assuming they give me french fries, and they are not hot and crispy).
3) I would embarrass Randeep Hooda by fangirling over him so hard that he either decides to shut me in the back of the truck forever or decides to release me. If my kidnapper is not Randeep Hooda then I would be VERY disappointed.
4) I love nature, I love flowers and trees and mountains BUT only in pictures. So don’t expect any patakha guddi from me. Unless you want an entire montage of me sleeping in the back of the truck.
5) If I get all pally with my kidnappers then I would not stop talking about Harry Potter or how the Stonehenge is a prison built by the entire universe for the Doctor. I am pretty sure that is not one of the top topics of discussions amongst truckers/ kidnappers.
6) If I ever manage to charm my kidnappers (highly unlikely) then I would not live in the mountains. I am a beach person. I would take Randeep Hooda to the beach and then cook toast for him in a beach shack. You’re welcome, Randeep Hooda.
7) It would be HELL for the kidnappers to separate me from my phone. So expect a LOT of kidnapper selfies. although that might not sit well for the kidnappers, who would by then become my BFFs, so I’d have to reconsider.
8) It would take the kidnappers FOREVER to find shoes that fit my huge feet. This would make them realise that either I would have to wear Randeep Hooda’s shoes for the rest of my kidnapping term (Um NO) or they have to set me free.
9) The lack of internet will prove to be a MAJOR inconvenience throughout. Aside from being kidnapped, of course.
10) The lack of music on the road trip would be a problem too. Like give me some trucker songs to chill to while I’m kidnapped. God! Kidnappers can be very inconsiderate, you know.
11) In the end they would have to let me go because of my constant complaining and whining about missing out on The Night Shift and Arrow. #EoinMackenFTW
(By Salva Mubarak)